Just the tip

My apologies to my loyal readers... er, reader? Well, no matter. The week presented a host of new challenges resulting in hand surgery where they (people with scalpels and anesthesia) took part of my finger. The correct term is amputated, but I just say "took" because the word "amputation" is scary sounding. Freaks people out. Freaks me out. Anyhow, on Tuesday I go back to the surgeon so he can remove the dressing and I'll get to see my newly shortened index finger. Kinda weird.

Part of me wants to mourn the loss of my fingertip and lament, "Why me? Why do I have to have some crazy autoimmune diseases like Raynaud's and Scleroderma and PBC? What did I do to deserve this?" But that only lasts about a minute and I recognize it's only a fingertip, not my legs or an arm or even my hand and my boyfriend isn't so shallow that he'll dump me because my right index finger is strangely short. And I am so incredibly blessed to have great health insurance that allows me to see some of the best doctors and specialists around that will hopefully have me back on the path to health real soon. And of course, I am so, so, so grateful for my family that has been praying for me through every doctor's visit and mri and "procedure" and hospital stay and surgery. They give me strength and courage knowing I am not in this alone. And my friends that send flowers and well wishes and my amazing boyfriend that has never once wavered (at least in front of me) in his commitment, even when the diagnoses have been scarily unknown and cast an eerie shadow over the future. I could not be more supported and cared for. And my mother, my amazing mother. I don't have the words to express how she has been here for me- strong and positive and optimistic and faithful and caring and understanding and everything I need and nothing I don't. I absolutely do not know what kind of shape I'd be in without her. And my dad, who loves me and my mom and my dog and even my boyfriend so much I know there's nothing he wouldn't do for us. I quickly remember all of these things and I pray for all the people who are suffering and fighting similar battles- and scarier ones, but they're doing it alone or while they're also raising a family and managing a career. I can't imagine the strength it takes and I know I'm the luckiest girl around.

All these things are what's been on my mind over the last week- at least in my moments of clarity, when I'm not in some drug induced haze. And unfortunately my dominant hand is the one buried under a splint and half a pound of bandages so no journaling or making of anything lately. But I think tomorrow I will do some drawing exercises with my left hand. I've been meaning to work on being ambidextrous anyway. In fact, I'm surprised how quickly I can type with only my left hand!

Hopefully my hand will heal quickly and my doctors will get me on all the right meds so that my body will stop trying to hurt itself and start working towards health. In the meantime, my friend C-note has given me a temporary honorary membership to the Lefty's Club of the Greater United States and I plan on wearing that thing out! Thanks Cris!

Monday, Monday

Oh, I'm so tired. Been fooling around on the internet too long. I had a coffee this afternoon and I think that might be the reason I'm still sitting here. Perhaps through all these health- shall we call them "adventures"- I am cleansing my system of the monumental buildup of caffeine from the last 15 years and as a result am becoming less immune to the effects of coffee, redbull and espresso. Hmmm, perhaps.

I really just wanted to check in and say hello and that I'm still here. This weekend did not go as planned, I ended up dealing with a lot of pain in my right hand which resulted in an increase in pain killers which resulted in a decrease of accomplishments. Very frustrating. However, God willing, my situation is only temporary and I am reminded of all those people who live with chronic pain- Everyday- and are forced to live out their daily lives in what I can only imagine must be an exhausting, thick fog of drug-altered consciousness. My heart goes out to them and once more I am grateful for all the many blessings in my life and the amazing doctors and specialists I have the privilege of seeing that are working to figure out this "auto-immune thing" and conquer it once and for all. And I just can't explain how I lucked out to be surrounded by the most loving and understanding and supportive family and friends and boyfriend that a girl could ask for. If any of you are reading this: I love you so much and I will never fully be able to express to you how much it fills me up to know I am in your prayers or to hear of the well wishes you've sent or see the card in my mailbox or the flowers on my bedside table. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you.

Forecast for tomorrow: A jewelry giveaway! Creative EveryDay update! And a sneak peek at some journal work I've been doing!

Lookout 2010!

The first day of the New Year went much like the last four: I watched the boy regret not quitting while he was ahead the night before. What can you do? Some lessons are harder to learn than others I suppose. On the upside, despite the severe lack of sleep, we did have a pretty fun night just hanging out with friends and playing some cards and eating way too much food.

But the best thing about today was the opportunity to journal in the morning. And although the pooch was being outrageously demanding (food! water! pee! poo! play!), I did manage to get in my morning pages and remind myself of how writing fills me up and clears my head at the same time. So that was my creative activity for the day. I was hoping to do some visual work or some jewelry making, but it's always hard to fit those in when the boy is off of work. Now in case you haven't noticed the little button to the right there begging you to click and find out more about the Creative Everyday Challenge for 2010, I'll tell you that I signed up to participate in said challenge in an effort to reinforce my daily creative habits. I have a desire to infuse creativity throughout my everyday life so that everything I do becomes a little more fun, adventurous and fulfilling. The challenge was originally created in 2008 by Leah Piken Kolidas for the same reasons and she decided to start a blog and put the invitation out there to others to join her in embracing creativity everyday whether through singing, dancing, cooking, drawing, painting, or anything else. There are no strict rules or policies to follow in order to participate, but for myself I will be checking in on the weekly check-ins and probably uploading photos to the Flickr group when I have something visual to share, and of course, talking about it here on my own blog.

I hope this added layer of accountability (that's wrapped up in lighthearted sharing) will be another tool in my arsenal I can use to stay focused and on track. Plus, don't you just love seeing what other people are up to? Especially artists and designers and all around awesome people? I'm inspired just thinking about it.

So until tomorrow, lovelies! And I promise I'll have something visual- perhaps a jewelry giveaway!

My ABC's for the New Year

A friend of mine, Merrie Wolfie, posted the beginning of her list of ABC's for the new year on her Facebook page and I thought, "how clever! I need my own list of ABC's!" So I copied her idea and I'm sharing them here with you. By the way, Merrie is a super talented tarot card reader and she does readings over the phone and through email for those who don't live near her in Tucson, AZ and I would highly recommend her services. You can find her here at Aha! Tarot on Facebook- and tell her I sent you, maybe I'll get a discount next time!

So here are my ABC's! Some are nouns, verbs, adjectives, and some I couldn't pick just one- no rules here, just words that attract me and hold the feelings and hopes I have for the new year. I think 2010 is gonna rock!

2010 ABC's

Adventure,
Belief,
Connections, Courage,
Dependable,
Energized,
Focused,
Generous, Gratitude,
Health,
Inspired,
Joyful,
Karma, Knowledge,
Loving,
Motivated,
Nesting,
Organized,
Prolific,
Quality,
Receptive,
Service,
Tenacious,
Undaunted,
Victorious,
Wonder,
eXcitement,
Yes!
Zen.

love this quote

"Write it on your heart that each day is the best day of the year."
- Emerson

Merry Christmas!!

I know it's a couple days late, but here's my best Christmas wishes to all of you! I hope you all had the most wonderful Christmas ever, I know I had a great holiday. It was a little strange to get out of the hospital just a few days before Christmas, but after a couple days of crazy shopping it was so nice to be at home in my own space with the tree all lit up and my pooch runnin' around and D and my family with me. Spending time at home with my peeps was just what the doctor ordered. And man, I must've been nice this year because Santa hooked me up! I've got so many new goodies to play with, I can't wait to start making and photographing and printing and everything! It's gonna be so much fun, and the best part of it all is that even without all those amazing and super-thoughtful gifts I would have been just as happy sitting around on Christmas eve eating Italian food and laughing out loud and making a big country breakfast for D and my parents on Christmas morning. There really isn't any greater gift than being around the people you love.

Well I must go to sleep now, but I'll share some new work with you soon!
xoxoxoxo!

First Jewelry Show!

It may have taken me a week, but I'm finally here to share my experiences of our first attempt at selling my jewelry! Now, I've been making jewelry for years off and on; but this year I decided to invest in some better materials in bigger quantities and really work on my skills as a jewelry artist and make the leap to trying to sell my little designs. I started looking for opportunities to show my work somewhere before the holidays and I found a dance studio in Austin that was having a holiday open house and craft bazaar. I thought the small venue would be a good starting point since they were only expecting 150-200 people to come through and it was only $25 for a table. After I had made the commitment, I spent most of Thursday, Friday and Saturday making jewelry and getting things ready for the show with LOTS of help from my mom. My dad even volunteered to drive us up and help with the set up and tear down. It was truly a family affair! I don't know what I'd do without my parents and family- I'd probably just be wandering around town waiting for someone to take me in and tell me what to do with myself.
Anyhow, since we didn't have a ton of inventory to display, the setup was pretty quick and easy. And right away people began to come over and compliment us on the necklaces, bracelets, earrings and even our props! So that felt really good. You know it's always a little nerve wracking to put yourself out there and open yourself up to criticism- no matter how great your parents say you are. I mean they're supposed to think you're great, right? Either way we had a good time and got some great feedback from the shoppers. Unfortunately I didn't have it together enough to think about taking pictures at the start of the show- I didn't look together enough either- so we only got a couple shots of the table near the end of the show. The display was a little boring, but I have some great ideas for next time.