A weekend to journal

Like I said in my previous post- I'm looking for something this weekend. Some truth, some insight to point me in the right direction.

For the past 24 hours or so I've been holed up in a small conference room at a Courtyard Marriott here in San Antonio. Let me explain. A good friend of mine began scrapbooking a while ago. She is a stay at home mom of two amazing young children. They are beautiful and she loves them with all her heart, but if you are a mother I know you'll understand me when I say that she was about to lose her mind. She needed an outlet. A space to create something other than dinner and a neat pile of folded laundry. She began to attend classes at a local store with her mother, and soon after she had a new hobby that allowed her a format to create and perhaps more importantly, she was granted time away from her children. A break. A very brief hiatus from being the be-all-end-all to two little humans. Fast forward a few months and she is attending scrapbook weekend retreats here in town when she can convince someone to babysit for a few hours. It's a haven for her. She confided to me that at the first one she attended, she barely cropped a photo, instead playing the entire first season of Dexter on her laptop and listening through headphones. No crying babies, no diaper changes or noses to wipe for a few precious hours. Peace.

This weekend, we are at one such retreat. I am not a scrapbooker, per se, but I come along for the chisme and my own version of peace- time to just sit and write and cut and paste and remember what I love to do. Now, I'll admit, I have the luxury of a studio in my home. The room is painted a beautiful light blue-green shade called Vintage Map and when I set it up, I spent a few weekends and most of my then-savings on buying and assembling Elfa shelving and desks from the Container Store. One wall is mostly windows and I can look out upon evergreen shrubs, a live oak tree and the squirrels incessantly digging holes in my lawn. I have ample storage space, desk space, and wall space; in fact, the only space I don't seem to have enough of, is the space in my head. It seems to be perpetually full of never ending to-do lists. And though I love my home and I feel a sense of peace when I enter it, everywhere I look, I see reminders of what I "should" be doing. The laundry, the bills, training the dog, scrubbing the grout between the tiles in the kitchen, replacing the hardware on the cabinetry, and on and on and on. So, when I am trying to create or reflect or design a future, I feel as though it is a selfish act. One that doesn't serve enough people, only me.

I have realized, however, that the time I take to refill my own well pays dividends again and again. And not just for me. The time I spend in solitude creating something- whether it is journal page or a hand bound book, refreshes and re-energizes me so that when the time comes to make dinner, fold the laundry, walk the dog or participate in a campaign raising funds to build wells in Ethiopia- I can do it. And more importantly, I want to do it.

And this is not just a spiritual exercise, but a practical one as well. Because for me, when I am cutting, folding, pasting- that is when I work through all the little problems that have been hanging out atop my shoulders. That is the time when solutions arise, new designs emerge, a crucial contact is remembered. That is the time I am in flow.

That time is this weekend, to an extent. I have 3 days and a 6 foot table to myself. No one will ask me to cook for them, whine to let them go outside to potty, or ask if I can wash and fold the pile of laundry that has begun to take over the closet floor. This time is for me... so that later, I can be there for them.

So, I encourage you to find your own place where you are at peace, where things are easy and time flies. And visit there often. Because just like my creative time makes me a better person, friend, girlfriend, and entrepreneur and my friend's scrapbooking time makes her a better mom and wife, I am sure that your time spent pursuing the thing that brings you peace will make you a better person as well.

xoxo, Iris

Monday, Monday

Oh, I'm so tired. Been fooling around on the internet too long. I had a coffee this afternoon and I think that might be the reason I'm still sitting here. Perhaps through all these health- shall we call them "adventures"- I am cleansing my system of the monumental buildup of caffeine from the last 15 years and as a result am becoming less immune to the effects of coffee, redbull and espresso. Hmmm, perhaps.

I really just wanted to check in and say hello and that I'm still here. This weekend did not go as planned, I ended up dealing with a lot of pain in my right hand which resulted in an increase in pain killers which resulted in a decrease of accomplishments. Very frustrating. However, God willing, my situation is only temporary and I am reminded of all those people who live with chronic pain- Everyday- and are forced to live out their daily lives in what I can only imagine must be an exhausting, thick fog of drug-altered consciousness. My heart goes out to them and once more I am grateful for all the many blessings in my life and the amazing doctors and specialists I have the privilege of seeing that are working to figure out this "auto-immune thing" and conquer it once and for all. And I just can't explain how I lucked out to be surrounded by the most loving and understanding and supportive family and friends and boyfriend that a girl could ask for. If any of you are reading this: I love you so much and I will never fully be able to express to you how much it fills me up to know I am in your prayers or to hear of the well wishes you've sent or see the card in my mailbox or the flowers on my bedside table. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you.

Forecast for tomorrow: A jewelry giveaway! Creative EveryDay update! And a sneak peek at some journal work I've been doing!

Lookout 2010!

The first day of the New Year went much like the last four: I watched the boy regret not quitting while he was ahead the night before. What can you do? Some lessons are harder to learn than others I suppose. On the upside, despite the severe lack of sleep, we did have a pretty fun night just hanging out with friends and playing some cards and eating way too much food.

But the best thing about today was the opportunity to journal in the morning. And although the pooch was being outrageously demanding (food! water! pee! poo! play!), I did manage to get in my morning pages and remind myself of how writing fills me up and clears my head at the same time. So that was my creative activity for the day. I was hoping to do some visual work or some jewelry making, but it's always hard to fit those in when the boy is off of work. Now in case you haven't noticed the little button to the right there begging you to click and find out more about the Creative Everyday Challenge for 2010, I'll tell you that I signed up to participate in said challenge in an effort to reinforce my daily creative habits. I have a desire to infuse creativity throughout my everyday life so that everything I do becomes a little more fun, adventurous and fulfilling. The challenge was originally created in 2008 by Leah Piken Kolidas for the same reasons and she decided to start a blog and put the invitation out there to others to join her in embracing creativity everyday whether through singing, dancing, cooking, drawing, painting, or anything else. There are no strict rules or policies to follow in order to participate, but for myself I will be checking in on the weekly check-ins and probably uploading photos to the Flickr group when I have something visual to share, and of course, talking about it here on my own blog.

I hope this added layer of accountability (that's wrapped up in lighthearted sharing) will be another tool in my arsenal I can use to stay focused and on track. Plus, don't you just love seeing what other people are up to? Especially artists and designers and all around awesome people? I'm inspired just thinking about it.

So until tomorrow, lovelies! And I promise I'll have something visual- perhaps a jewelry giveaway!