A weekend to journal

Like I said in my previous post- I'm looking for something this weekend. Some truth, some insight to point me in the right direction.

For the past 24 hours or so I've been holed up in a small conference room at a Courtyard Marriott here in San Antonio. Let me explain. A good friend of mine began scrapbooking a while ago. She is a stay at home mom of two amazing young children. They are beautiful and she loves them with all her heart, but if you are a mother I know you'll understand me when I say that she was about to lose her mind. She needed an outlet. A space to create something other than dinner and a neat pile of folded laundry. She began to attend classes at a local store with her mother, and soon after she had a new hobby that allowed her a format to create and perhaps more importantly, she was granted time away from her children. A break. A very brief hiatus from being the be-all-end-all to two little humans. Fast forward a few months and she is attending scrapbook weekend retreats here in town when she can convince someone to babysit for a few hours. It's a haven for her. She confided to me that at the first one she attended, she barely cropped a photo, instead playing the entire first season of Dexter on her laptop and listening through headphones. No crying babies, no diaper changes or noses to wipe for a few precious hours. Peace.

This weekend, we are at one such retreat. I am not a scrapbooker, per se, but I come along for the chisme and my own version of peace- time to just sit and write and cut and paste and remember what I love to do. Now, I'll admit, I have the luxury of a studio in my home. The room is painted a beautiful light blue-green shade called Vintage Map and when I set it up, I spent a few weekends and most of my then-savings on buying and assembling Elfa shelving and desks from the Container Store. One wall is mostly windows and I can look out upon evergreen shrubs, a live oak tree and the squirrels incessantly digging holes in my lawn. I have ample storage space, desk space, and wall space; in fact, the only space I don't seem to have enough of, is the space in my head. It seems to be perpetually full of never ending to-do lists. And though I love my home and I feel a sense of peace when I enter it, everywhere I look, I see reminders of what I "should" be doing. The laundry, the bills, training the dog, scrubbing the grout between the tiles in the kitchen, replacing the hardware on the cabinetry, and on and on and on. So, when I am trying to create or reflect or design a future, I feel as though it is a selfish act. One that doesn't serve enough people, only me.

I have realized, however, that the time I take to refill my own well pays dividends again and again. And not just for me. The time I spend in solitude creating something- whether it is journal page or a hand bound book, refreshes and re-energizes me so that when the time comes to make dinner, fold the laundry, walk the dog or participate in a campaign raising funds to build wells in Ethiopia- I can do it. And more importantly, I want to do it.

And this is not just a spiritual exercise, but a practical one as well. Because for me, when I am cutting, folding, pasting- that is when I work through all the little problems that have been hanging out atop my shoulders. That is the time when solutions arise, new designs emerge, a crucial contact is remembered. That is the time I am in flow.

That time is this weekend, to an extent. I have 3 days and a 6 foot table to myself. No one will ask me to cook for them, whine to let them go outside to potty, or ask if I can wash and fold the pile of laundry that has begun to take over the closet floor. This time is for me... so that later, I can be there for them.

So, I encourage you to find your own place where you are at peace, where things are easy and time flies. And visit there often. Because just like my creative time makes me a better person, friend, girlfriend, and entrepreneur and my friend's scrapbooking time makes her a better mom and wife, I am sure that your time spent pursuing the thing that brings you peace will make you a better person as well.

xoxo, Iris

Creative Entrepreneur Retreat - No.3

So, here is the third installment of my short series on my experience at the reTREAT with Lisa Sonora Beam at La Hacienda Mosaico, and unfortunately my little posts are not doing it justice, but as I continue to work in my journal I will try to include more details on the process. One night we went downtown to do a little shopping and what not- this little collection of calacas was in one of the shops where I bought a little donkey. No, really, a little colorful donkey to put on my shelf- I'll have to take a picture of my little burro for you guys.
Just a quick pic to give you an idea of the awesome rooms at La Hacienda Mosaico. They're each a little different, but all comfortable, colorful and perfect for escaping from your own day to day.
Here, I was experimenting with using craft paint to put color on a page- quickly. I can't remember where I first learned this technique of spreading paint on the page with a credit card/hotel room key, but Lisa shared it with us as one of her favorite ways to prep or start a page. I love the effect you can get on the page by combining colors- this page reminds me of a robin's egg. And, of course, to the left of my book is Lisa's book, The Creative Entrepreneur.
These are the other lovely ladies taking the workshop- all deep in the process.

It was so awesome to be in the room with so many others who are also trying to forge their own path in the world with creativity, inspiration, and beauty at the forefront. I've learned these ideas are not important to everyone and when you can find people who can really relate, it's priceless.
This is the bell tower of the cathedral downtown, we were able to catch a bit of one of the processions honoring la Virgen de Guadalupe, who I believe is like the patron saint of the city. Unfortunately, most of my shots didn't come out- should have taken the big camera.
And above is a parting shot of the studio. Of course, I was the last to leave- due to either procrastination or rampant insomnia. I don't know.

And above are some of my last views of La Hacienda Mosaico. I really can't say enough about the b & b, the workshop and the other participants. I didn't want the week to end and I can't wait to return! In coming days/weeks/months as I continue to work through my journal and pursue a creative life and the forging of a small business, I will refer back to my time here adding more details on process, links for more information and hopefully someone will be inspired to buy Lisa's book, attend one of her workshops and embark on their own pursuit of creative entrepreneurship. Click on the links sprinkled throughout this post (and previous ones) to take you to Lisa's website, La Hacienda Mosaico and even a direct link to buy the book at Amazon. I will also be adding a button or badge (?) on my blog permanently to take you directly to Lisa. That's how amazing I think she is. Her book and workshops have made such an enormous impact on my life. I am incredibly thankful that I was blessed enough to take a workshop with her in California a few months before everything went to hell in a handbasket (read- I got really, really sick), because using her methods of journaling (writing, collaging, painting, etc) are what kept me sane and optimistic and grateful through a very difficult time. I only wish I had known about her sooner- like before my divorce. :)

So please check out the links if your curious and I look forward to sharing the progress I've made in my journal since then and perhaps connecting with the other amazing women I met through their own blogs and businesses. Thanks for reading!

xoxo,
Iris

Creative Entrepreneur Retreat - No.1

Okay kids, the blog's back on.
I'm going to just override the need to fill in the gaps between July and today and just start talking about what's happening here and now.
(Some journaling on the plane to get revved up before the retreat...)
First up, I just got back from the most amazing retreat ever in beautiful Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I spent the week with 9 other amazing women and our fearless leader Lisa Sonora Beam at the incredible Hacienda Mosaico. I wrote somewhere that time and space for creative work is the ultimate luxury and now I know it to be true. I don't even know how to begin to describe the week- it was so chock full of color, laughter, inspiration, and "aha" moments. Not to mention the incredible experience of spending the week with some of the smartest, funniest, most caring and inspiring women I've ever met. So, I will just start with the where and move on from there.
View out my airplane window- it's Mexico! Can't wait to get on the ground and check out Puerto Vallarta.
Outside the walls of the hacienda; even from the outside, you can tell it's going to be full of life and color.
The first of the stairs leading up to the studio. How cool is that?!
Beautiful! Can you believe this is the view out one of the windows in the studio- how could you not be inspired here?
And this is the outdoor kitchen (by the pool!) where we were served a delicious breakfast and lunch each day by Sam (the proprietor), Alicia and the rest of her wonderful staff. It's also where Sam would make her amazing margaritas for us each evening upon request. I didn't want to leave!
Aaaahhh, what a lovely view before bedtime. More to come!
xoxoxo,
iris

New Stuffs a'Comin!

So much to share with you guys!

I really do love having my blog, so I'm going to recommit to posting regularly. So coming attractions will be some pics from Costa Rica, Vegas, the Art and Soul classes, updates on my hand- I think I'm finally ready to share what it looks like, New Projects, New Art Acquisitions, Stella "the Beast" Gonyea-Lee, and much more! Are you excited yet? I know you are, I can feel it. I need to make myself presentable because I think the boy will be home early and I've been doing housework all morning, and -bless his heart, he's endured enough days of unwashed hair, no-makeup, and pajamas to last awhile, I think.

In the meantime, here's a pic of Stella pooped after a day at Camp Bow Wow- she's so cute!- and the new short finger, Frankie. My hand looks pretty normal now that the scars from surgery are healed and the stitches are out. There's still a scab on the end of my finger, but that will take time to fall off little by little- still a little gross looking. But this is night and day compared to my hand right after surgery (very Frankensteinish), maybe one day I'll share those pics if anyone actually wants to see them.

Be back soon!
xoxoxo

Costa Rica or bust!

It's already February! What the heck? Well, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder so I'm just going to assume you guys are really happy to see a new post from me. No? Oh well.

So this past month has been... hmmm.... a bit of a rollercoaster. Some days are good, some aren't. Some days are marked by relentless pain, others by nausea, and others by so much exhaustion that I literally sleep for 20 hours out of the day. And then some days, for a few hours, I feel almost a little bit normal. And it's during those times that I think okay, we're making progress. In fact, today I'm going to pack my bags for a little trip to Costa Rica! The boy and I will be basking in glorious sunshine and 93 degree weather. I can't wait to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. This is an incentive trip through his company and I've been with him on every one he's ever earned, so I just couldn't bear to miss it. I know I won't be able to participate in most of the activities and socializing but I figure if I'm going to resting most of the day, then at least I can do it somewhere warm. Not to mention, that my mom needs a break from taking care of me, poor thing! Hopefully I'll come back with some great pictures to share that will inspire feelings of warmth and sunshine to help us get through the rest of winter.

Gotta go get ready for a doctor's appointment, but I think I'll take my laptop and post from Costa Rica since I'll probably be spending a good amount of time on my own. I want to take advantage of the time away from home to clear my head and examine my goals for this coming year and create some journal pages to illustrate them. So, here's looking forward to having lots of pretties to share. We all need a bit of pretty during these dull, cold months. And I don't even live somewhere cold, like Minnesota or Wisconsin. Ugh, I can't imagine!

Just the tip

My apologies to my loyal readers... er, reader? Well, no matter. The week presented a host of new challenges resulting in hand surgery where they (people with scalpels and anesthesia) took part of my finger. The correct term is amputated, but I just say "took" because the word "amputation" is scary sounding. Freaks people out. Freaks me out. Anyhow, on Tuesday I go back to the surgeon so he can remove the dressing and I'll get to see my newly shortened index finger. Kinda weird.

Part of me wants to mourn the loss of my fingertip and lament, "Why me? Why do I have to have some crazy autoimmune diseases like Raynaud's and Scleroderma and PBC? What did I do to deserve this?" But that only lasts about a minute and I recognize it's only a fingertip, not my legs or an arm or even my hand and my boyfriend isn't so shallow that he'll dump me because my right index finger is strangely short. And I am so incredibly blessed to have great health insurance that allows me to see some of the best doctors and specialists around that will hopefully have me back on the path to health real soon. And of course, I am so, so, so grateful for my family that has been praying for me through every doctor's visit and mri and "procedure" and hospital stay and surgery. They give me strength and courage knowing I am not in this alone. And my friends that send flowers and well wishes and my amazing boyfriend that has never once wavered (at least in front of me) in his commitment, even when the diagnoses have been scarily unknown and cast an eerie shadow over the future. I could not be more supported and cared for. And my mother, my amazing mother. I don't have the words to express how she has been here for me- strong and positive and optimistic and faithful and caring and understanding and everything I need and nothing I don't. I absolutely do not know what kind of shape I'd be in without her. And my dad, who loves me and my mom and my dog and even my boyfriend so much I know there's nothing he wouldn't do for us. I quickly remember all of these things and I pray for all the people who are suffering and fighting similar battles- and scarier ones, but they're doing it alone or while they're also raising a family and managing a career. I can't imagine the strength it takes and I know I'm the luckiest girl around.

All these things are what's been on my mind over the last week- at least in my moments of clarity, when I'm not in some drug induced haze. And unfortunately my dominant hand is the one buried under a splint and half a pound of bandages so no journaling or making of anything lately. But I think tomorrow I will do some drawing exercises with my left hand. I've been meaning to work on being ambidextrous anyway. In fact, I'm surprised how quickly I can type with only my left hand!

Hopefully my hand will heal quickly and my doctors will get me on all the right meds so that my body will stop trying to hurt itself and start working towards health. In the meantime, my friend C-note has given me a temporary honorary membership to the Lefty's Club of the Greater United States and I plan on wearing that thing out! Thanks Cris!

Monday, Monday

Oh, I'm so tired. Been fooling around on the internet too long. I had a coffee this afternoon and I think that might be the reason I'm still sitting here. Perhaps through all these health- shall we call them "adventures"- I am cleansing my system of the monumental buildup of caffeine from the last 15 years and as a result am becoming less immune to the effects of coffee, redbull and espresso. Hmmm, perhaps.

I really just wanted to check in and say hello and that I'm still here. This weekend did not go as planned, I ended up dealing with a lot of pain in my right hand which resulted in an increase in pain killers which resulted in a decrease of accomplishments. Very frustrating. However, God willing, my situation is only temporary and I am reminded of all those people who live with chronic pain- Everyday- and are forced to live out their daily lives in what I can only imagine must be an exhausting, thick fog of drug-altered consciousness. My heart goes out to them and once more I am grateful for all the many blessings in my life and the amazing doctors and specialists I have the privilege of seeing that are working to figure out this "auto-immune thing" and conquer it once and for all. And I just can't explain how I lucked out to be surrounded by the most loving and understanding and supportive family and friends and boyfriend that a girl could ask for. If any of you are reading this: I love you so much and I will never fully be able to express to you how much it fills me up to know I am in your prayers or to hear of the well wishes you've sent or see the card in my mailbox or the flowers on my bedside table. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you.

Forecast for tomorrow: A jewelry giveaway! Creative EveryDay update! And a sneak peek at some journal work I've been doing!