Like I said in my previous post- I'm looking for something this weekend. Some truth, some insight to point me in the right direction.
For the past 24 hours or so I've been holed up in a small conference room at a Courtyard Marriott here in San Antonio. Let me explain. A good friend of mine began scrapbooking a while ago. She is a stay at home mom of two amazing young children. They are beautiful and she loves them with all her heart, but if you are a mother I know you'll understand me when I say that she was about to lose her mind. She needed an outlet. A space to create something other than dinner and a neat pile of folded laundry. She began to attend classes at a local store with her mother, and soon after she had a new hobby that allowed her a format to create and perhaps more importantly, she was granted time away from her children. A break. A very brief hiatus from being the be-all-end-all to two little humans. Fast forward a few months and she is attending scrapbook weekend retreats here in town when she can convince someone to babysit for a few hours. It's a haven for her. She confided to me that at the first one she attended, she barely cropped a photo, instead playing the entire first season of Dexter on her laptop and listening through headphones. No crying babies, no diaper changes or noses to wipe for a few precious hours. Peace.
This weekend, we are at one such retreat. I am not a scrapbooker, per se, but I come along for the chisme and my own version of peace- time to just sit and write and cut and paste and remember what I love to do. Now, I'll admit, I have the luxury of a studio in my home. The room is painted a beautiful light blue-green shade called Vintage Map and when I set it up, I spent a few weekends and most of my then-savings on buying and assembling Elfa shelving and desks from the Container Store. One wall is mostly windows and I can look out upon evergreen shrubs, a live oak tree and the squirrels incessantly digging holes in my lawn. I have ample storage space, desk space, and wall space; in fact, the only space I don't seem to have enough of, is the space in my head. It seems to be perpetually full of never ending to-do lists. And though I love my home and I feel a sense of peace when I enter it, everywhere I look, I see reminders of what I "should" be doing. The laundry, the bills, training the dog, scrubbing the grout between the tiles in the kitchen, replacing the hardware on the cabinetry, and on and on and on. So, when I am trying to create or reflect or design a future, I feel as though it is a selfish act. One that doesn't serve enough people, only me.
I have realized, however, that the time I take to refill my own well pays dividends again and again. And not just for me. The time I spend in solitude creating something- whether it is journal page or a hand bound book, refreshes and re-energizes me so that when the time comes to make dinner, fold the laundry, walk the dog or participate in a campaign raising funds to build wells in Ethiopia- I can do it. And more importantly, I want to do it.
And this is not just a spiritual exercise, but a practical one as well. Because for me, when I am cutting, folding, pasting- that is when I work through all the little problems that have been hanging out atop my shoulders. That is the time when solutions arise, new designs emerge, a crucial contact is remembered. That is the time I am in flow.
That time is this weekend, to an extent. I have 3 days and a 6 foot table to myself. No one will ask me to cook for them, whine to let them go outside to potty, or ask if I can wash and fold the pile of laundry that has begun to take over the closet floor. This time is for me... so that later, I can be there for them.
So, I encourage you to find your own place where you are at peace, where things are easy and time flies. And visit there often. Because just like my creative time makes me a better person, friend, girlfriend, and entrepreneur and my friend's scrapbooking time makes her a better mom and wife, I am sure that your time spent pursuing the thing that brings you peace will make you a better person as well.
xoxo, Iris
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