New Year, New Me

It will come as no surprise to the people that know me best that my New Year's Post is being published in March as opposed to, oh, I don't know... January? Although to be fair, this really isn't a New Year's Post, it is simply the first post of the new year and I'm not going to post resolutions in the traditional sense, but rather ask a question or two.

Do you ever feel like you just need to shake things up a bit? Or a lot? This is how I feel right now, like my life is racing by and in the end nothing of note will have happened, no great adventures or grand accomplishments. On the one hand, I realize this sounds a bit silly and grandiose. After all, I am just a normal person living a normal life. But on the other, I think about those who have accomplished great things, made a difference in the world and I think, they were also just normal people but somewhere along the way they dreamed bigger dreams, hatched bigger plans, and took bigger risks. Right? And then the inevitable doubts begin to rear their ugly heads and scream out in their terrible voices, "Who do you think you are? You're just Iris from San Antonio who still hasn't walked the stage at UTSA even though you've earned your BA- for no reason other than you just haven't gotten around to it! And you think you can do something of note? Please, you're just trying to make it through each day! You have to take pain medication just to be able to get out of bed in the morning and try to maintain this house, much less do anything else- anything extra, anything that might give a sense of accomplishment or value..." And on and on, my inner critics have a field day at my expense reminding me of past failures, physical limitations, unfinished projects, neglected dreams, current incompetence.

And yet, I find that I am tired of listening to them and deferring to their opinions. So I am making a list. Not a list of all the Awe-Inspiring things I will do, but rather a list of the things I won't do anymore so that I can proceed to do something, anything Awe-Inspiring.

What follows is my Not To Do List:
1. I will not let fear dictate my decisions.
2. I will not let the possibility of failure keep me from attempting something.
3. I will not surround myself with people that do not want the best for me.
4. I will not read every single email.
5. I will not let the desire for perfection override the desire to get it done.
6. I will not continue not asking for help.
7. I will not define myself by my current circumstances.
8. I will not waste what precious time I have left on this earth with regrets.
9. I will not let another day go by without giving thanks for all the many blessings I have been given.
10. I will not spend another minute making excuses or feeling sorry for myself.

There. These ten things I resolve not to do. This list will go on a board in my bedroom so that I can see it first thing every morning. I will also post this next to the television, the refrigerator, the bathroom mirror, in my daily notebook, in my car, in my studio and guest bedroom and anywhere else my eyes land on a regular basis. Perhaps I can put it on a t-shirt for Stella to wear. Hmmm... I'll have to think about that one. No matter. I will remind myself daily of these resolutions and as I do them over and over, I think I will set upon a path that leads towards at least one great accomplishment. And if not, well at least I will have ceased driving myself crazy and I'm sure I'll be much better company.
xoxo, Iris

2011 went by in a flash!

My last post was in February!! Are you kidding? How does time fly by so unbelievably quickly? I don't know. What I do know is that I miss blogging. Even if there really aren't too many people reading what I have to say or share with them, that's okay. I suppose it is because in my heart, I love to write. I always have. And while I do write pretty much daily in my personal journals and books, many times the writing is stream of consciousness with the sole purpose of "just getting it out". There are far too many concerns, ideas, what-if's, to-do's, inspirations, lists, projects, and other bits of random thoughts running through my mind at any given moment. So, I write to clear my head- at times in the morning, but more often at night to empty it all out and hopefully fall asleep easier. It doesn't always ensure a good night's rest; but without a doubt, I feel better afterwards, more... at peace.

Lately I have had a nagging feeling that I should be writing something with a purpose in mind- whether it be to share a great resource, my latest project, documenting important events or requesting feedback on an artistic pursuit or idea. So, that is why I have returned here to my little spot on the internet. To write with some sort of purpose in mind, to share things that I think are fantastic, and to find out if anyone else thinks so. Hopefully I will also feed my desire to be doing something a little bigger with this little life I have been given- in my own little way. But, for now, let's not get carried away with lofty expectations. I will simply give you an update on what has happened over the past year in- what else?- the form of a list.

The Best Things That Have Happened Since Last December
1. I have lost nearly 50 pounds. (Steroids suck and I am glad to be off of them.)
2. I have worked in my books almost everyday using text and image. (Isn't there anyone who will employ me to journal everyday? That would be perfect!)
3. I traveled to Amsterdam and learned A LOT.
4. I found an AMAZING company that I can buy fresh, gluten free, dairy free food from that actually tastes great! (www.myfitfoods.com)
5. I got to see the Spurs whoop the Lakers in LA at the Staples Center- on our way to Hawaii, which was super beautiful even though I was sick half the time.
6. I got to add some AMAZING pieces to my little art collection- they make me super happy!
7. I also got to attend the Kentucky Derby, and although it was friggin' freezing, it was a fun excuse to wear some outrageous headpieces.
8. A couple of friends got married in our backyard, we welcomed another little blond-haired niece into the world, and we got to visit with great friends here at home and at the Jersey shore.
9. My studio is actually in working order and has been for a while now- such a pleasure to just pop in and do some work. I love it!
10. And I've added more art-making/creative time into my life (well, I've tried anyhow) by going to weekend crops, various local classes and joining the San Antonio Calligrapher's Guild. Trying to surround myself with more people that embrace creativity and art-making has been very rewarding and I highly recommend it!

There's probably a lot more awesome stuff that's happened this year, but it's not right on the top of my head right now; so, that's all for now because I have got to get some chores done! Oh yeah, and I still have an amazing family, a gorgeous pooch, a sweet-when-he-wants-to-be-boyfriend that I still love like crazy and a crackling fire. All in all, life is good.

xoxo, iris